The Road Trip

This evening Angel & I just got back from a road trip that was unplanned but not unexpected, as last week Angel’s grandma passed away. This was Angel’s last living grandparent, and she keenly felt the loss. So lat Saturday we packed the car and made the 10 hour drive to Revelstoke. If there was one thing that was a blessing out of all this it was being in the mountains; they’re majestic and taking in the awe inspiring scenery is good for the soul. Besides taking in the view and listening to music in the car, we spend the hours talking about “stuff”. Now when you have a loss like the one Angel had and put it with lots of time together in an enclosed space, lots of stuff comes up in conversation.

We first talked about a friend of mine I’m hoping to see in the near future, one whom I had a falling out with about six months ago. It all took place online, and even though it was patched up, it was done online and I still felt pain over what had happened. So I e-mailed her and asked if I could come and see her, as I wanted to talk in person about what had happened and apologize for what I had done to hurt her. She agreed but I’m still waiting to hear back on when this will all take place. So as Angel & I talked about this the conversation broadened into friendships in general, and how God is bringing me into a new season of healing.

Years ago I went through a process of connecting emotionally with God as my Father, and now I’m learning what it is to be the friend of God – that God not only loves me but he actually likes me. And just as our experiences with our earthly fathers shape how we see God as Father so too does our friendships affect the way we see God as our friend. I recognize that my reconciling with my friend is a part of that process, but it’s still risky because our friends aren’t always there for us (and neither am I). Somehow God wants to express His heart for me through my friends, which for various reasons isn’t easy for me to receive.

As we got closer to Revelstoke the focus changed to the reason why we came, and the losses that Angel felt both recent and past. Like me Angel has experienced a lot of pain in life, which is one of the reasons we were drawn to each other so many years before. It’s not my place here to discuss the details of her stuff, but let’s just say we both struggle with our relationships and a sense of belonging. It’s nothing we haven’t talked about before, but on this occasion we both sensed God bringing into focus some of our stuff and giving us some strategies on how to deal with it all. We ended up pulling over to the side of the road and spent time in prayer and confession over these things, and as we made the final leg of the journey we played worship music and poured out our hearts to God who loves us and cares for us.

It’s remarkable how God can take a loss, like the passing of Angel’s grandma, and use it as a time of healing and molding us in Christ-like character. It was an experience we both got to share together, one that drew us closer together. I’d rather skip the unpleasantness that’s always needed to bring us to places of further healing, but we can say that it was worth it. Our next road trip will be a joyous one and is only a few weeks away, as we are spending our anniversary again in Jasper. Who knows where that one will take us in our relationship with God and each other…