Stay'n with the cousins

Well, after a few weeks of it I think we can let one cat out of the bag. One of the new things that has been going on with us is that Angel and I are, and will be til the new year, spending some time at Harvest Vineyard, our old church. Before Angel & I came to Calvary Baptist we were involved in the Vineyard movement way back when it came to Edmonton in the early '90s. We were at Harvest for its first ever church service and the then pastor, Mark Wallenburg, performed our wedding ceremony. Our 2 years there was a time of transition for us, as we had left the church we first met at and started our own life as a married couple. For me Harvest was a place where I was introduced to teaching on God's unconditional love, and the Fatherhood of God - stuff I had never heard before in the few years since I had become a follower of Christ. It was a time of healing and planting of Kingdom seeds in my life, but Angel & I sensed that Harvest was not home for us. As good a place it was to be, we felt we were supposed to be elsewhere. That's how we ended up at Calvary in '92, and has been our home for the past 16 years.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge in that time; we've seen changes in the church and changes in our own lives, and yet in all those years there was one thing that remained constant for us, that Calvary was our home. We always thought it would be our home, and while the prospect of pastoring in a church somewhere out there was exciting we knew we would miss our home church. As I had mentioned before, the prospects of me going into vocational ministry had dried up and the last six months has been a time of laying everything down before God. Where do you want us? What do you want us to do? Where are you at work so we can join you in that work? As those questions were batted around in our minds and prayers we began talking about Harvest. You see, when we moved into our neighborhood two years ago we found out that our old church had moved into a school just a few blocks away from our home. Now we know that God placed us in our community very intentionally, and we want be a blessing to our neighbors. So then maybe Harvest fit in the picture too, but we don't know for sure.

So, after touching base with Harvest to see what their involvement in the community was like, talking with the Calvary leadership and lots of prayer, we have made the switch to Harvest. The people we've talked with at Calvary have been very supportive, even if they feel sad that we're leaving. But I need to clarify something here, and that is we aren't sure if we are supposed to be there permanently. In fact we're not sure of much these days... But we do feel that we're supposed to be at Harvest for the time being, so we're giving it three to four months and hopefully by January we will have a good idea of the direction God wants us to go. In the meantime we're getting settled into a Kinship (small group), met with Pastors Don & Ruth Rousu and have started making connections with the people there. There are some people that we knew from Harvest started way back in the day, but the vast majority are strangers to us. So it's kinda weird to feel at home in a place that's so unfamiliar; maybe it's because they do church pretty much like Calvary does. But most likely it's simply because Jesus is there. As well there's a connection between Calvary and Harvest in that Calvary has several ex-Harvest folk, and vica versa. So really we haven't left home so much as we're spending time with extended church family - the cousins if you will. And only time will tell before we know if we move in permanently with them or head back to the place we've loved to call home.

Is God involved?

I just finished reading a book that had been recommended to me by my pastor. It's made it to the New York Times #1 best seller list, and it's name? The Shack. The popularity of this book has been spread by word of mouth mostly, and many people have been touched by its message. The storyline goes something like this: a man with a history of being abused by his father looses his daughter in a brutal murder, which takes place in a shack deep in frontier country. He's never gotten over it and his relationship with God has suffered since. One day he receives a letter, and apparently it's from God who invites him to the shack. He eventually goes back to the shack where, amazingly, he meets God - face to face. The story from there on is about healing, redemption and learning to trust God even in the face of terrible loss.

However, the book does have its detractors. The author, William Paul Young, has been accused of being a universalist, a heretic, etc. which I find completely unfair. He's made his position clear in an interview with Servant Magazine (a publication of Prairie Bible College) that he believes that Jesus is the only way to God; how then does this make him a heretic is beyond me. While I think there are a couple of things in the book that I would question, overall I'd say it gives great insight into the heart of God. Basically it challenges our preconceived cultural notions of who God is (especially how we see Him as our Father) and what His nature is like. As well it challenges the reader by asking two questions: In the face of great loss and suffering, is God good, and is He involved?

For me I'd have to say that the answer to the first question is unequivocally yes. But then faced with the second question I honestly had to say "sometimes." My experience of God in this area has been sporadic, and I know that we cannot go by experience alone when learning about the heart of God. Yet, for instance, I've prayed for the healing of others and have seen results but I have yet to be healed of my infertility. I've asked the question, "Where is God?" when I've had troubles, and while I have sensed His presence I at times have not seen His intervention. This is important for me to reconcile, because as Paul Young said the two questions are like two legs we need to stand on. If one isn't there then it's pretty hard to stand, isn't it?

Recently Angel & I were at a Kinship group (a house church) and were asked to be prayed for. Without giving the specifics of what we are going through recently we said yes, and the man who prayed for us prayed a prayer that was right on the money. As we're at a time of change and transition we felt like we were pulled in many different directions, and the Holy Spirit directed him to pray specifically about this matter (we had never met this fellow before nor did he know anything about us, so his insight had to have been supernatural). What the Lord said to this man was that this was to be a time of rest, and that we eventually would know for certain where God wanted us to go. You would think that this would move my view of God's intervention more towards the yes side, but I still have a ways to go yet.

In my head the answer to the question of God's involvement is yes. I just wish I could see it a bit more often...

Season of change

I know that many out there are lamenting this, the unofficial end of summer (for my foreign readers, we consider the May long weekend - Victoria Day - the start of summer and its end on our Labor Day weekend in September). But for me, I love it. Autumn is my favorite time of year. For some reason my mood just picks up, and for me this is very important considering my past struggle with Clinical Depression. I find I sleep better; maybe it's to do with the decreasing amount of sunlight and cooler weather. But it's still warm during the daytime and I love the fall colors, even though I hate raking them up... As a kid I loved fall because of Halloween and the anticipation of Christmas, and maybe the kid inside of me is jumping up & down because of that! But it may be because fall is a time of change and new beginnings.

Two years ago today marked a new beginning for me and Angel, as we had taken possession of our then new home. The place was a disaster, a real fixer-upper let me tell you. Holes in the walls, a smashed window, furniture left behind, mildewy laundry left in the washers and dryers (2 of each), stained carpets, linoleum peeling from the kitchen floor and the piece-de-resistance: an unplugged chest freezer with a fish in it! But thanks to the efforts of many people, both friends and family, we got the place cleaned and fixed up. Today we enjoy living in a modest but cozy home that we love to show off to guests, and we give God the glory for blessing us with it. It truly is a miracle that we are here (and if you don't know the background on how we got the place then click here).

Today Angel & I are entering into another season of change, as there are two (maybe even three) big things that are happening in our lives. What are they you may ask? Well, you may ask but I'm not ready to let the cat out of the bag yet. This is because we're not quite sure what the outcomes will be yet or what they will look like for us down the road. But they are big for us and will be big for others. It's kinda scary, sad and exciting all at the same time (and if you're worried that we are moving away you can rest easy - we are staying put where we are). Some of it has been a long time coming and some of it hasn't been expected and... ok, I think I'll stop there. I've peeked enough curiosity for now I'm sure. So I'm going to get on with my day here and enjoy the warm weather. I hope to do some muskrat watching later today in the park and Angel wants to do Ikea. But stay tuned for further updates and hopefully you will share in our excitement.