Family

I can't believe it's the end of January already. It seems like yesterday when we started into the new year, along with the adoption orientation sessions Angel & I enrolled in. We had to take 24 hours worth of classes; each class was three hours, two nights per week for four weeks. With early starts to our work day, dashing home to make a quick supper then out the door again to attend orientation made for long days. What also made it challenging (a word I use mildly) was the information we learned; as we are doing our adoption through Alberta Children and Youth Services we're dealing with kids in the foster care system. They're all there for a reason, and those reasons aren't positive ones. This is a pool of children who have been abused, neglected, abandoned or simply given to the government because the parent(s) aren't able to take care of them. All of them come with special needs, whether they be mental, emotional, developmental, physical, you name it.

I have to admit that I felt like I was way in over my head. Our instructors told us this was normal, and that they would be worried if we had a "bring it on" attitude. But I suspect that I was a bit of a different case. I'm already dealing with a crisis of faith, as I'm sorting through the question of God's involvement in my life. I feel like I've failed in so many ways, and here I am planning on becoming a father to a child who will have to deal not only the mistakes of his/her biological parents but mine as well! These thoughts would go through my head after each class, and the more I learned about the issues the more anxiety I felt. Unfortunately Angel has been the brunt of a lot of my emotions, as I've been pretty crabby with her this month. She's done nothing to deserve the anger I've shown her; she just was there and I feel bad for how I've taken things out on her. She knows this and she still loves me, for which I'm grateful for and blessed by.

There is an upside to all this though. The last two sessions were probably the most positive for me, as they talked about how adoption breaks the cycle of family dysfunction, the stages of adjustment and the supports that are in place for adoptive families. The Alberta government made changes to the system so that the same resources that foster parents are given now carry over to adoptive parents, which wasn't the case up until a few years ago. This means we would get income support, respite care, access to professionals like counselors, therapists, tutors; whatever the needs of the child are it's made available. They made these changes because the needs of these children are still there and just don't vanish after they go to their "forever family." So while I'm still feeling a little scared I'm also feeling some excitement, knowing that there's a child out there who will be given the chance to break the cycle of family breakdown by being adopted... by us even. Overall the classes were a good experience. The instructors were all aces and we had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful people who were in the same boat as us.

Last weekend we celebrated a couple of birthdays in our family. My niece Rayleen is now 18, a pretty special birthday for a pretty young woman to be sure. Palle, my eldest brother, will be 52 and this was a special birthday for him as well. This fall he ships out to Afghanistan for a tour of duty as Canadian Forces military policeman, and won't be home for Christmas this year or his birthday next year. So the family went to the pool and had a blast splashing around, playing water volley ball, and as we all sat in the hot tub after I thought how good it was to be with everyone. The Bible says that God puts the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6) and in the downtimes I've been so grateful for the sense of belonging I have with mine. Somewhere out there there's a child who is lonely and needs a family and I'm glad for the support mine has shown in the adoption process, especially my brother Niels & his wife Janice. Knowing that child will have a place in ours someday keeps my perspective in balance, that while there will be tough times there'll also be blessing for us as a family. Our family is there for each other, and they will be there too for whoever becomes our child.