Bigger than us

The doorbell rang this morning at 10:30; normally we would be in church at this time but today was an exception. After several rounds of telephone tag we finally got to put a face to the voice of the person who now stood on our step. Sharon, our adoption placement worker, had come to call and brought with her the next phase in the process of our becoming parents. One of the first things she said when she came in was, "Your neighbor's smoking pot." This wasn't exactly the most encouraging statement coming from the person who's helping us place a child in our home! Does this mean we can't be parents because we live in a "bad" neighborhood? I poked my head out the door and saw who it was (I waved when he saw I was looking at him) and quickly closed the door. "Will your child be hanging around that family?" Sharon asked? "Probably not," I replied doubtfully. Phew, at least the question was phrased in a way that suggested we were still in the running...

After getting settled, with coffee in hand, we dove right into things. Sharon asked us questions like, "What do you do for a living" as she hadn't had time to familiarize herself with our profile - you know, get to know you kinda stuff. The conversation eventually steered into the needs of the children in the system. Then Sharon, who had mentioned earlier in the conversation that she was very open about what she thought, mentioned that people who "fear God" (as she put it) often feel obligated to look after others who are less fortunate. I knew where she was going with this, as she was feeling out our motives for becoming adoptive parents. "This is a decision to make that's bigger than us," I replied. "You're right in saying that we "fear God" (I used my fingers to make the quotation marks here) but we believe that God will bring to us the right child and that He will take care of the ones passed over." This seemed to put our worker at ease as she liked the attitude behind the answer. No, we're not religious nuts, motivated by guilt, who are out to save the world!

We then talked about pre-natal exposure to alcohol, attachment issues, etc and then we re-examined our preferences based on who we are and what our heart really desires. "This is the part where it's ok to be selfish," Sharon said. "We want you to be completely honest about what you want to do as parents." What this meant was that we needed to take a good hard look at what we dreamed about parenthood. For instance if we wanted to kick a ball around with our child it probably doesn't work well placing a child who's blind. As we reviewed our profile we began to whittle down the preferences we had listed in our assessment; most of this was based on further information Sharon provided that made several categories not applicable. Finally, we began to review potential matches. Yes, we already have been flagged by the computers that look for potential placements. Seven of them to be exact. One of them peaked our interest, which Sharon is now going to follow up on.

After Sharon left we had time to reflect on our visit. We were left with the impression that whoever we get we were likely going to be placed with a boy, that he would be on the older side and that he would come with mild to moderate issues. As for the time table it was anyone's guess, but again the impression was that it wouldn't happen anytime this year. But things are moving along now, and between now and our next meeting in August we would look at enrolling in a class or two dealing with subjects like attachment issues. We also felt the need to debrief with someone, so as soon as I'm finished this post we'll go see Niels & Janice, who have been great supports to us as they've gone down the adoption road themselves. We're thankful for the supports we have and were encouraged by Sharon's comments on how we'll be excellent parents. And since today is Father's Day it seems appropriate that today was the start of the next chapter in our adoption story. Most of all we're thankful for our Father in Heaven who we know is guiding us in the process. He knows what's He's doing. After all, He did adopt us as His kids...