Family

I can't believe it's the end of January already. It seems like yesterday when we started into the new year, along with the adoption orientation sessions Angel & I enrolled in. We had to take 24 hours worth of classes; each class was three hours, two nights per week for four weeks. With early starts to our work day, dashing home to make a quick supper then out the door again to attend orientation made for long days. What also made it challenging (a word I use mildly) was the information we learned; as we are doing our adoption through Alberta Children and Youth Services we're dealing with kids in the foster care system. They're all there for a reason, and those reasons aren't positive ones. This is a pool of children who have been abused, neglected, abandoned or simply given to the government because the parent(s) aren't able to take care of them. All of them come with special needs, whether they be mental, emotional, developmental, physical, you name it.

I have to admit that I felt like I was way in over my head. Our instructors told us this was normal, and that they would be worried if we had a "bring it on" attitude. But I suspect that I was a bit of a different case. I'm already dealing with a crisis of faith, as I'm sorting through the question of God's involvement in my life. I feel like I've failed in so many ways, and here I am planning on becoming a father to a child who will have to deal not only the mistakes of his/her biological parents but mine as well! These thoughts would go through my head after each class, and the more I learned about the issues the more anxiety I felt. Unfortunately Angel has been the brunt of a lot of my emotions, as I've been pretty crabby with her this month. She's done nothing to deserve the anger I've shown her; she just was there and I feel bad for how I've taken things out on her. She knows this and she still loves me, for which I'm grateful for and blessed by.

There is an upside to all this though. The last two sessions were probably the most positive for me, as they talked about how adoption breaks the cycle of family dysfunction, the stages of adjustment and the supports that are in place for adoptive families. The Alberta government made changes to the system so that the same resources that foster parents are given now carry over to adoptive parents, which wasn't the case up until a few years ago. This means we would get income support, respite care, access to professionals like counselors, therapists, tutors; whatever the needs of the child are it's made available. They made these changes because the needs of these children are still there and just don't vanish after they go to their "forever family." So while I'm still feeling a little scared I'm also feeling some excitement, knowing that there's a child out there who will be given the chance to break the cycle of family breakdown by being adopted... by us even. Overall the classes were a good experience. The instructors were all aces and we had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful people who were in the same boat as us.

Last weekend we celebrated a couple of birthdays in our family. My niece Rayleen is now 18, a pretty special birthday for a pretty young woman to be sure. Palle, my eldest brother, will be 52 and this was a special birthday for him as well. This fall he ships out to Afghanistan for a tour of duty as Canadian Forces military policeman, and won't be home for Christmas this year or his birthday next year. So the family went to the pool and had a blast splashing around, playing water volley ball, and as we all sat in the hot tub after I thought how good it was to be with everyone. The Bible says that God puts the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6) and in the downtimes I've been so grateful for the sense of belonging I have with mine. Somewhere out there there's a child who is lonely and needs a family and I'm glad for the support mine has shown in the adoption process, especially my brother Niels & his wife Janice. Knowing that child will have a place in ours someday keeps my perspective in balance, that while there will be tough times there'll also be blessing for us as a family. Our family is there for each other, and they will be there too for whoever becomes our child.

Yes, we can

So, where were you when history was being made? If you're a baby boomer you'll probably remember where you were when JFK was shot, or when man landed on the moon. We may recall where we were when the Berlin Wall came down, or the twin towers on 9/11. So where were you when history was being made today? For me this was another work day, but for someone else it was the start of his new job. I was sitting in my bus, parked in the Lube Oil bay getting the oil changed when Barack Obama was being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America. It was a stirring moment for millions of people, maybe even billions. But what touched me the most was when Rick Warren was asked to pray before the ceremony began. If you don't know who Rick Warren is, he's the pastor of Saddleback Church in Orange County California, and the author of the best seller The Purpose Driven Life. Pastor Warren prayed a powerful prayer of thanksgiving, repentance and blessing on behalf of the nation. I was almost moved to tears as I was sitting there getting the oil changed, and I'm sure if the guys working there saw the look on my face they would have wondered what was wrong with this guy... But it was a reminder to me that not only does the U.S. and the world need a fresh start politically and socially, but also spiritually. As much as President Obama (who is a Christian) inspires many, myself included, I know that only Jesus can bring true and lasting hope to the world. And I think the new President believes this too, that when we realize that "I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13) that we can all say, "Yes, we can" when we face the challenges of the 21st century.

Random extistential thoughts

This is an entry I wrote in a journal I did for my philosophy course that I recently finished, and I thought it would be fun to post it & see how many people go, "Huh?" Enjoy.

One of the things I take for granted, and yet marvel at when I don’t, is the simple fact that I exist. There’s times where I stop and ponder my own self awareness and think how incredible it is. I am me, and I know I’m me. I’m not someone else, and I live in a world where other self aware people live. But what’s it like to be someone else, and how do others perceive me? Am I really the only one who exists, while everyone else around me is some sort of simulation or projection of my imagination? I was talking with someone about this years ago and she told me that these questions are psychological in nature. Apparently there’s a part of us that thinks we are the only thing that’s real and everything else is not. Talk about your ego!

So how do I know that others exist and that I’m not alone in the universe? How do I know that the world exists? I was listening to a radio program where that very question was put to a philosopher, and I was really struck by his answer. “I know the world exists because the world is constantly telling me so. When I stub my toe the world is telling me it’s there.” So I guess he was saying that our sensory inputs tell us there’s more out there than just us. So what about people? I guess they’re real too because they behave in much the same way I do. The fact that people may also have different opinions and interests tells me that they’re not a part of my imagination. If they were the world would be in my image, and let me tell you the world would look very different if I had my way with it.

Ok, so I know that people aren’t just a projection of my own psyche. But I have to confess something that I have never said to anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I’m in a simulation where I’m being tested under varying conditions, and at the end of my life I wake up somewhere else. The simulation of my life was in fact training for my real existence. Weird, huh? It’s like something out of the Matrix movies, or an episode of Star Trek where, after people who were trapped on the holodeck were freed, asked themselves if they were some simulation in someone else’s holodeck. But after thinking about this from a biblical perspective, I think I may not be far off. We see in scripture that this life is temporal, and that what we do here and now will have consequences on how we live out our lives in eternity. I imagine that when we’re with Jesus we’ll look back at the life we lived here and see how shallow and unreal it was compared to heaven. Maybe then my understanding of existence will be so much bigger than it is now, and that I’ll fully understand what Paul was talking about in Acts when he said, “In Him we live and move, and have our being.”

The weather outside is frightful...

I'm sitting here in front of my laptop, enjoying a cup of Twinings tea brought to me courtesy of the Colin & Halyna Forbes British Export company (we so love and miss you guys), while it's -30c outside. The temperature in our living room is not quite where it should be; right now it's 18c and the furnace is running like mad to bring it up to a comfortable 21c. It was worse this morning, with a living room temperature of 16c and the back yard at -35c, and that was without the wind. What I'm trying to say here is that in the words of my dear niece Karlene, "Global Warming is a lie!" The king of Siam from that Gilbert & Sullivan production would have added that it was a false lie. Well, ok; while I'm sure there are polar bear drowning in the arctic right this very moment (sad as it is) if they came to Edmonton they would find it much more hospitable than the North Pole. We actually were colder here than at the North Pole one day this week, and while Santa & his elves were donning life vests we here were hunkering down in the cold. This was exactly what Angel & I did today.

I actually don't mind being weather bound indoors, at least for short periods of time. It feels cozy inside, and you get to do stuff you normally don't have time for because you're so busy with running errands or whatever. We slept in, had a lovely breakfast of bacon, eggs & toast (I wanted pancakes but Angel vetoed that idea) and then played with our new Wii that we bought on New Year's Day. We had some money saved and had talked about getting one, as Angel enjoys playing the Wii with our niece Kaylista at her dad's house. I just loved the idea of playing video games with Angel, as she wasn't keen on them to begin with. We bowled and played baseball, brought to us by this marvelous little white box wired to our TV, and then Angel played a few rounds of golf. It was marvelous to me to say the least, as I so wanted to have fun with Angel in such a juvenile fashion...

Alas, our indoor bliss came to an end in mid afternoon as we had to venture out and stock up on supplies before whatever storm hits us next. We had planned on doing this for tomorrow, but with church, a trip to the pool for some much needed hot-tubbing, Angel's lab appointment and home group in the evening we felt that we were cramming too much into a day that is forecast for -14c. So we let the car run for a bit, hit Costco and made it home in record time. Why it was such a big deal to go out today may sound strange considering all the running around we did in the last few days. It was freezing when we did New Year's supper and fireworks with friends in the early evening, and it was even colder when we rang in the New Year at our Pastor's acreage (it's been a tradition where the whole church is invited for an evening of broomball on the pond, followed by food, games and the countdown to midnight) It was just as cold the next day when we went to my brother's place to celebrate New Year's Day. This is another tradition, where every January 1st the family gathers together, along with all our in-laws, for more food, games, tobogganing and good fellowship. I guess we just about ran out of patience with Mother Nature today, that's all.

So, as we settle in for the evening we have nothing planned, other than a movie in the toasty warm basement. Wrapped in a blanket, sipping hot drinks and not budging one inch out of the house, life doesn't get much better. Sure, the weather outside is frightful, but the basement is so delightful. And it could be worse. Our friends Nathan & Dawn, who are doing missions work in Lithuania, have to put up with winter living in an ocean port city. The humidity makes it feel colder, plus everyone is at the mercy of the city which provides the heat for every home and building. I mention them because it's their futon (which they sold to us before leaving Canada) that we're curled up on. But I'm sure that they have warm hearts as we do when we think of each other. We love and miss them too. It's friends both far and near that make life just a little more bearable when things are otherwise miserable. No, today was a happy day for Hendrick - and all because of the lousy weather.

(If you'd like to see the pictures of our New Year's revelries, click here)