Mother's Day had never been easy for Angel. Ever since we found out, so many years ago, that our chances of having a child were next to zero, it was a day that reminded her of what was missing. Over time though Angel began to accept the idea that she may never be a Mom, and began to form a new perspective on motherhood. She even wrote a beautiful poem she called, "The Childless Mother." I'd like to share it with you:
There are feelings that a woman goes through, there is no denying it. Urges, yearnings, deep feelings - things that say it's time to settle down. Instincts that say, "I must nurture life." I am no different. There are questions a woman has; what would it feel like to have a life growing inside me? What activities would I do with my child when he grows up? Will he look like his dad or me? What if we were unable to have children - then what? Are we any less a family without children?
The last is where I find myself more and more. We were told that it doesn't look promising for us; but there are always other options. Where does this leave us? Are we complete? But my instincts say, "I must nurture a life" - is there anyone for me?
The Father of all says yes! My child, there are many out there for you. They may not be of you - but you can still nurture them. In fact they need you to nurture them. They call you friend and Auntie. Give yourself to them. They will take your love and care and be all they can be. They will wrap their arms around you and say, "I love you" and "I missed seeing you." What more joy can anyone dream of? These words will bring you great satisfaction too.
So I find myself in a new place of joy, in a world where I can give of myself to those in need of my care. I can pour out my heart to others and they will bloom. This is a good place to be. They bring me smiles and hugs every time we visit together. I am nurturing many with my talents as I give of myself to those who want me.
I AM A CHILDLESS MOTHER.
Today however, Angel was no longer a childless mother. She awoke to breakfast in bed, received a card and a gift, and was given a flower in church today along with all the other moms. She was taken out to lunch by her husband... and her daughter. It was a very special Mother's Day for her, the very first one as a mom. It will be one that she'll remember for a very long time; a day where God has blessed the faith of my wife - a faith she placed in God in spite of her pain.
Happy Mother's Day, to the mother of my child.
I love you Angel :)