It's almost the end of 2010, and usually I take the time to reflect on what's happened in the world and in my own personal life. It's been a tough year globally; an earthquake in Haiti, volcanic ash over Europe, the Gulf oil spill, economic uncertainty and the threat of war on the Korean peninsula all make us mindful of how messed up things are. But events like Canada's success at the Vancouver Winter Olympics, the rescue of 33 Chilean miners and the launch of the first commercial orbital spacecraft tell of determination and the human spirit. In the face of difficulty and hardship the world still moves forward, sometimes falling down and sometimes overcoming adversity. I'd shutter to think of a world without common grace to help us in our times of need.
I also think back on my family life. This time last year we were just getting to know Jess, but in the span of a year we've bonded and it feels like we've always been together. But my thoughts are more fixed with an eye to my and my family's future. Ever since we got Jess I've been trying to picture where I'd be in the next few years; I'm presently content with my role as a bus driver for Robin Hood, but I don't know if that job is going to be enough to take care of my family in the future. Recently that very subject came up over coffee with Greg, my pastor. We were debriefing after the soul care training I put together last month when Greg asked me what thoughts I had given to my future. I knowingly smiled, having been asked that question more than once by him and others who probe to see if I have any aspirations for vocational ministry.
So I share a few thoughts, like switching to ETS or my interest in peace officer work. He then asks me if these are things that would really satisfy me. Again I knowingly smile; I'm not biting and the fishing expedition needs a bit more bait. Greg just won't give up on the idea of me pastoring in a church, in spite of me telling him that the fire's just not in my belly anymore. Then Greg puts out a proposal that shows just how serious he is (and how serious I should consider pastoring). He said, "I can find you a ministry position." Now these words are not idle, as Greg is a man with connections. As director for YWAM in Alberta and a sitting member of our denomination's regional board Greg has influence. He has an ear to the ground when it comes to what's happening in churches, so I know not to take his offer lightly. And yet I'm skeptical, and I tell him as much. Even though I have a leadership diploma and an associate degree from two different Bible colleges, I tell him that churches are looking for pastors with at least a bachelor or arts.
Greg disagrees with this assessment, and encourages me to consider his offer. He also added that this would likely mean pulling up our stakes and putting roots down in a new community. This is a scenario that's difficult for me to embrace. We just got Jess settled into her new life, not to mention that I'm very fond of our cozy little townhouse. Both have taken time and a lot of work to get them to where they are now, and while the thought of a fresh start is somewhat appealing I'd rather stay put. In fact I told him that the best scenario would be for Calvary to take me on staff. But that's not in the cards I'm told, and that while this needs to be a family decision the offer should still be considered. I tell him I'd talk it over with Angel & Jess, and thank him for his offer. But the skepticism is still there.
In spite of my doubts I know enough to know that maybe, just maybe, this is God knocking on my door. So, having given it a fair bit of thought, prayer and discussion with the family we have, as a family, made a decision to let Greg - as he put it -find me a ministry position. But there's a catch, and that we must stay within the province. Most of our kin are here in the Edmonton area but two of my nieces have moved to Calgary, so if we either go north or south we're relatively close to family. Having made the decision doesn't change our lives right now nor does it put any enthusiasm for ministry back into me, but I do feel slightly out of my comfort zone. Part of me expects our lives to stay the same for some time, and yet I know from our experience with adopting Jess that our lives can turn on a dime in a relatively short time. And what do I do if Greg actually calls me with a prospective ministry placement? I guess I'll cross (or burn) that bridge when I get to it. In the meantime 2011 comes with the same hopes and expectations as any other year.
But I guess one never knows what the future will bring... At any rate, Happy New Year everyone :)
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