Logging back in

Well I'm home today, as Jess has pink eye and can't go back to school until Wednesday - doctor's orders. She's still resting from a late night last night, as we had some people over who were family friends of Jess' from before we adopted her. It was a great visit with this dear mother & daughter who were quite close to Jess, and quite involved when Jess' life was less than ideal. Having them over for pizza last night was a great way for us to connect with a happy part of Jess' past. We look forward to seeing more of these friends of Jess' and to forming our own relationship with them.

For those reading this on Facebook you all know by now that I have logged back on after Lent finished up. My brother Niels hounded me as he said it looked like I was still logging on; as I explained to him my blog posts are automatically loaded to my facebook page and people were free to comment on them (my post on Rob Bell garnered a lot of response). And if you're wondering if I ever "cheated" I will say that I logged on twice during my fast; once to retrieve an e-mail address and once to get an update from one of our church's missionaries so I could pass it on to the congregation. Otherwise I have not read anyone's posts or messages, creeped anyone's profiles, etc. And how hard was that you might ask? In the beginning it was tough. While I'm not one of those folks who is on Facebook for hours on end (some of you are, and you know who I mean!) I do jump on & off it several times a day. It's so easy to do; between having 2 computers, my 3G phone and now as an app on Telus TV (which came out during Lent, which I cursed Telus for because I couldn't use it until after Easter) I can get my facebook fix any time, anywhere.

But that was the point of fasting from Facebook. Facebook is like a little shrine to yourself, and it's so easy to get hooked on people's comments about your status, photos and posts. "Oooo! Who said what to me and what about?" is what goes through my mind (and probably yours too). So I decided I needed a break from myself. And no, Twitter did not become a substitute as I use Twitter for information and to microblog for my 25 followers who hardly bother to read my stuff anyway. It was hard for the first two weeks, and then for the rest of Lent it wasn't bad. As well as abstaining from Facebook I took up Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. I thought Lent was for 40 days, but at the end of the 40 day readings I still had a few days to go. Oh well. It was a good exercise in taking my focus off myself and on God instead. And as The Purpose Driven Life is sort of like Christianity 101, getting back to the basics seemed like the thing to do. While these exercises did build in me a sense of anticipation for Easter I encountered something unexpected during Lent.

Now the purpose of fasting is to draw closer to God, but during Lent I really struggled to connect with the Lord. It seemed like so many of my doubts, insecurities and disappointments just rose to the surface. Instead of drawing near to God I felt lost and wondered where He was. As usual the question of God's involvement, which seems to constantly be at the forefront of my faithlessness, came up. But towards the end of Lent I felt God saying to me, "You doubt my involvement because you want to see more of it in the life of the church, which is how I express it. You've been disappointed that my people just haven't been there for you. But what about the people who need you for them, Hendrick? Instead of asking me why am I not involved in your life and your world, why not ask me to be involved in the world through your life?" Like a chiropractor making an adjustment to my back God made an alignment in my thinking that day. I was reminded, once again, to be faithful to God with what I have and let Him take care of the rest. That was the result of my facebook fast. The doubts remain, but the focus has changed.

That & my appetite for social networking has somewhat waned.

So let this be my new motto and yours too, if you follow Christ: "Instead of asking God to be involved in your life and your world, ask Him to involve Himself through your life in His world."