BLTS Class of '89

Man, where does the time go? Today we celebrated Jenelle and Rayleen's graduation from high school. If I ever need a reminder of how long Angel & I have been married we only need to look to our two beautiful teenage nieces. Or so we have told them they're our nieces. The inside joke between the four of us is that they weren't simply born to my older brothers & sisters-in-law around the time we got married. No, they were the reason we got married! Twins, separated from birth and given to my brothers to be raised. Now they're old enough to know. Ok, it didn't work out that way. But still we joke about it, although there may be some who don't find it amusing. Oh well. At any rate we love them both and are very proud of them. Congrats girls!

But what really blows my mind is how long ago it was that I attended my first Bible college, the Baptist Leadership Training School in Calgary. The year was 1988; I was on a Greyhound bus going down what was then simply called Highway 2, now the Queen Elisabeth II Highway. I had left behind my then girlfriend of two months (Angel) and was looking ahead to seven months of discipleship studies. It was one of the best experiences, if not one of the hardest, in my then young life. The challenges I faced were being away from home, away from my loved ones, in an unfamiliar city. I had so many issues I was still dealing with then, like learning to be a people-person, learning to be humble and not letting my fears and insecurity get the better of me. Learning to deal with conflict was paramount, as there were over 30 of us all living together in residence trying to get along.

The blessings however were also in the people I lived with there. I learned a lot about God and myself then, and I liken it as a time where seeds were planted in me that would later take root and grow in my life. There were also great memories like practical jokes, building forts in the student lounge out of the giant pillows, Saturday night pizza parties (the pizza had to be snuck in sideways through the bathroom window so as not to alert our dorm parents), playing Foosball, the list goes on. My favorite memory though was when my roommate Kent took up a collection to buy me 2 tickets to see Bill Cosby at the Saddledome. After graduation we all went back to the lives we left behind, and over the years the contacts I kept up faded. I really blamed myself for this as I had a hard time really making deep bonds with my fellow students; this was part of the baggage I learned to get rid of. It seemed a little too late though for me to start making those connections, or so I though at least. But there were those in my class who reached out to me over the last few years, for which I am grateful for.

So yesterday we sat in a backyard in Calgary, remembering old times. There were only five of us that were able to make it, and all of them were Calgary residents except for us. Maybe I'll have to try and organize an Edmonton chapter reunion, as many wanted to come but weren't able to make it from here. It was because of Jesus that we came together 20 years ago and it was because of Jesus that we were able to come together 20 years later. Through our relationships with each other we experienced God, and yes He was there at the pizza parties and in the pillow forts too. The school closed down several years ago, but the mark left on literally hundreds of young people remains. The same can be said of the 30-something students that had become the class of 1989.

Anyone for pizza?

Bigger than us

The doorbell rang this morning at 10:30; normally we would be in church at this time but today was an exception. After several rounds of telephone tag we finally got to put a face to the voice of the person who now stood on our step. Sharon, our adoption placement worker, had come to call and brought with her the next phase in the process of our becoming parents. One of the first things she said when she came in was, "Your neighbor's smoking pot." This wasn't exactly the most encouraging statement coming from the person who's helping us place a child in our home! Does this mean we can't be parents because we live in a "bad" neighborhood? I poked my head out the door and saw who it was (I waved when he saw I was looking at him) and quickly closed the door. "Will your child be hanging around that family?" Sharon asked? "Probably not," I replied doubtfully. Phew, at least the question was phrased in a way that suggested we were still in the running...

After getting settled, with coffee in hand, we dove right into things. Sharon asked us questions like, "What do you do for a living" as she hadn't had time to familiarize herself with our profile - you know, get to know you kinda stuff. The conversation eventually steered into the needs of the children in the system. Then Sharon, who had mentioned earlier in the conversation that she was very open about what she thought, mentioned that people who "fear God" (as she put it) often feel obligated to look after others who are less fortunate. I knew where she was going with this, as she was feeling out our motives for becoming adoptive parents. "This is a decision to make that's bigger than us," I replied. "You're right in saying that we "fear God" (I used my fingers to make the quotation marks here) but we believe that God will bring to us the right child and that He will take care of the ones passed over." This seemed to put our worker at ease as she liked the attitude behind the answer. No, we're not religious nuts, motivated by guilt, who are out to save the world!

We then talked about pre-natal exposure to alcohol, attachment issues, etc and then we re-examined our preferences based on who we are and what our heart really desires. "This is the part where it's ok to be selfish," Sharon said. "We want you to be completely honest about what you want to do as parents." What this meant was that we needed to take a good hard look at what we dreamed about parenthood. For instance if we wanted to kick a ball around with our child it probably doesn't work well placing a child who's blind. As we reviewed our profile we began to whittle down the preferences we had listed in our assessment; most of this was based on further information Sharon provided that made several categories not applicable. Finally, we began to review potential matches. Yes, we already have been flagged by the computers that look for potential placements. Seven of them to be exact. One of them peaked our interest, which Sharon is now going to follow up on.

After Sharon left we had time to reflect on our visit. We were left with the impression that whoever we get we were likely going to be placed with a boy, that he would be on the older side and that he would come with mild to moderate issues. As for the time table it was anyone's guess, but again the impression was that it wouldn't happen anytime this year. But things are moving along now, and between now and our next meeting in August we would look at enrolling in a class or two dealing with subjects like attachment issues. We also felt the need to debrief with someone, so as soon as I'm finished this post we'll go see Niels & Janice, who have been great supports to us as they've gone down the adoption road themselves. We're thankful for the supports we have and were encouraged by Sharon's comments on how we'll be excellent parents. And since today is Father's Day it seems appropriate that today was the start of the next chapter in our adoption story. Most of all we're thankful for our Father in Heaven who we know is guiding us in the process. He knows what's He's doing. After all, He did adopt us as His kids...

Just Stuff

Ok, so last week we got the news that we were approved to become adoptive parents. The next day we went to Rundle Park for a walk'n talk about how our lives were going to change in a big way. One of the things we felt we needed to do was to get the bedroom ready for our little one. The room we were going to use was at the moment Angel's crafting room, which we knew was eventually going to become a child's bedroom should we become parents. There was just one problem though; we were kinda broke at the moment. Well, sort of - we had some money saved in the bank but that was for a rainy day, and these days there's a lot of clouds on the horizon. But, I said to myself, don't worry because God will provide for all our needs. Little did I know how soon those needs would be provided for.

The very next day I got an e-mail from my sister-in-law Wanda-Lee. Now bear in mind here that we hadn't said a word about anything other than our facebook update on being approved, so no one knew that we wanted to furnish the bedroom - let alone have money issues concerning that very idea. In a nutshell we had received an offer for some donated furniture; specifically my niece Bethany's old captain's bed, dresser and desk. "Would you be interested in having them?" the e-mail said. Obviously we leaped at accepting this generous offer. We knew that anything Palle & Wanda-Lee bought was nice stuff, so we wrote back and made arrangements to have the furnishings delivered for the following Saturday.

Now here's the character development part of this story: we had to move a fair bit of stuff around our home to make room for the furnishings, and what couldn't be kept would be thrown out or donated to the local thrift store. It's amazing how we cling to the stuff we have, but in the end it's just stuff. However some of that stuff has sentimental value; for instance we parted with a stereo I had since I was 15 years old. It was bought with money that I received from my maternal grandparents in Denmark, and it cost $300. Now $300 back in 1985 was a lot of money, and it was a good quality stereo. Also it was a reminder to me of my trip to Denmark in '85, which was the last time I saw my grandparents before they died. However the stereo had fallen into disuse; in other words I wasn't spinning LPs like I was a teenager anymore. So, practicality won over sentimentality.

The other character development part of this story had to do with the ensuing chaos that resulted from moving all our stuff around. I agonized over how this piece of furniture didn't look right in its new spot, and lamented how things couldn't have just stayed where they were. If only we had one extra bedroom!! Seriously, I am the kind of person who lives by the creed, "A place for everything and everything in its place." I would look at how we arranged something and say, "I hate it there," or get frustrated when I found that something didn't fit in the new space I had thought would work out well. But I realized there was a bigger problem; if I'm this way when we're simply moving things around, how am I going to handle the potential chaos that will come with parenthood? I had to remind myself of what was really important, keep telling myself that once the dust settles we would get that cozy feeling of home again, and that in the end it's all just stuff.

I do have to say that through it all there was one area of the house that I didn't hate. In fact I absolutely loved it, and that was our child's bedroom. In spite of the fact that it felt a little small I was so taken by the notion of a little one who would one day be sleeping in the pine bed now sitting where a filing cabinet and bookshelf once were. I also thought back to our renovation days when we were getting ready to move into our home. Angel & I had written Bible verses on the floors of each room before the carpet was laid, and in the child's bedroom we had selected Psalm 127:3: "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him." So, now the room is ready. All we have to do now is wait for our reward.


We would like to thank everyone involved in the donation and moving of this marvelous furniture. Angel & I are so blessed to be a part of a caring and generous family. Whoever we adopt is going to hit the jackpot with having so many loving uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. And thank you Jesus for being our reward and provider of all good things, including the reward of being a family one day.

Big Stuff

The mail came early this Friday morning; I should know as I don't go to work on Fridays. One of the letters had the return address for Alberta Child and Family Services... I opened the letter which read the following:

"Mr. & Mrs. Nicolajsen: I am pleased to advise you that your application to adopt was approved effective April 24, 2009."

We are now officially going to be adoptive parents! I was so surprised to hear back so quickly from the government, considering the time line we were told to expect. The first thing I did was call Angel at work to tell her the news. Needless to say she was more than happy, and the first thing she did was e-mail her boss notifying him that we had been approved and would need to look into adjusting her hours once we have a placement. The second thing I did was update my facebook status, which now says, "Hendrick and his beautiful wife Angel are OFFICIALLY approved to be adoptive parents!! Now the wait begins..." And so it does. I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation, and that sometime in the future our lives will be drastically altered. The timing of the letter is funny, as I had a dream last night about having adopted a son. In the dream he was having a hard time adjusting to having new parents, and I was simply giving him a listening ear. Prophetic? Maybe...

So needless to say big stuff is happening in our lives; we've taken the next step in the journey towards parenthood. The letter stated that we would be hearing from an adoption/permanency worker to talk about what happens next, which is something I really appreciate. There's a level of communication and support that wasn't there 10 years ago when we went through the adoption process the first time. In the meantime we've got some preparing to do, as we need to start changing the physical layout of our home in order to make space for a little one. Not only do we need to make space in our home but in our lives as well; for Angel that means her hours at work will change once we get a placement, and for me that means I need to get school out of the way.


Which brings me to some more big stuff... It's been a while in coming, but after months of thinking, praying and talking with people I've made a decision. I've decided to become involved in pastoral ministry again. Yes, you read right, I'm getting back on the horse again. Well, not quite yet. As I mentioned I need to get school out of the way first, as I've learned the value of doing a few things well. A number of things led me to this decision, one of which was my convocation at Prairie. Something seemed to click for me there that was, I suppose, the final little nudge in this direction I was already heading in.

I guess I've come to accept that like it or not, whether I want it or not, God has wired me for pastoral ministry. I don't know if it'll be vocational, as much as it needs to be if I'm going to have the time to do it well. But I now realize that Calvary is my ministry field and not just the place where I was doing my training. So it'll start small by getting involved in prayer ministry (which won't happen until the fall) and getting back on the teaching team, which won't happen until the new year. There's still a part of me that says, "Are you nuts?" But that's another blog entry, which I'll think about writing another day. In the meantime I have papers to write and furniture to move.

Big stuff. What an understatement...